Saturday, 19 February 2011

Project Love Me. Prompt 3

So weeks prompt in the Project Love Me was to write about lost dreams.  So be warned that this post just could be a little heavy.

Dreams....A Cautionary Tale

Just as any new parent knows, when your child is born, it seems that those dreams you have for them begin to form. You know the ones. The ones that say that your child will lead a happy and fulfilled life in some way or rather. You never dream that anything untoward to could happen to them, that those dreams could or would be shattered. This is where my story, I hope, will help save someone from the trauma we have been through.

For us the signs were there. Albeit small signs, but hindsight is a great thing. Little alarm bells should have been ringing. Perhaps they were and I was just not listening carefully to them. Suddenly with a third child on the way I began to reflect on the little things I should have been noticing in our house and took this child to see specialists. I travelled home to New Zealand from our home is S E Asia for this to happen and was treated like a neurotic mother. Sadly now those alarm bells were being heard by me but I had been told by the medically informed that there was nothing wrong with my son. and I took this as though it was etched in stone.

Still perservering with all those little alarm bells I went back to our home in S E Asia with child 3 in tow. Don’t get me wrong, all the milestone were being met, it was the little things, his white blonde hair, excessive thurst and urination, reluctance to eat food, Diabetes had been ruled out along with tropical deseases.

Sadly for our son these little things did mean something and in February 2006 he suffered a serious and life changing medical event. I have written about this time on other pages so wont go into it now, but my sons brain was damaged significantly, his life hung in the balance for days and from that moment things would never be the same for us again.

I could write about the should and should not ofs, aportion blame but that is not what this tale is about. Wind the clock forward about 8 weeks and we find out that those little alarm bells really did mean something. This something was not an everyday occurance but a rare and significant medical condition. Yes the past blood tests, in the before times, showed that there was something wrong. I couldn’t believe it. My alarm bells were ringing true.

So if there is anything to learn from my little tale then it has to be, listen to your alarm bells. They could just mean the difference between being able to dream or not.
Here is the page I made with these words on it.

The credits for this page can be found here at Nuts4digi

Residential Respite Care

Wilson Centre is the place that I love to hate.  I know hate is a strong word but I really mean this in the best possible way.  It simply is that I hate that we need to use this kind of service.

When the disabled services of New Zealand offered us respite care for Hayden I have to say I was so relieved.  The constant and significant behavioural issues, the medication regeim every 6 hours morning and night were and are placing a strain on our little family.  It was a chance to give us a break from the life that we had been thrust into.

When the reality hit then a new set of emotions raised themselves.  Was I a bad mother to want my son to go away for the weekend?  What will people think of this choice we had  made?  You know the questions we really nagging.  I even asked myself what would we do when we didnt have all the issues to deal with?

Now two years down the line I am happy to say that I am past those questions.  Infact who cares what others think.  The rest of the people in my little family need a break and we are not going to feel guilty in any way.  We are going to embrace this moment and enjoy life just like we should.  I am happy too that Hayden loves his weekends away.  I trust implicitly that Wilson Home knows how to care for Hayden and all his special needs.  I have to really, because without that trust it would be difficult to relax and just for a moment forget that this is how it is for us.

So this weekend Hayden is 'on holiday'.  This is him helping with all his luggage for two nights.  Thank you all those wonderful people who care for him so that for just a moment we can forget.