Denial is ...

Choosing not to stand on the scales this week when I know that it is the one way I can keep my weight steady and helps me feel really good about myself without being obsessive.

(google image source)

Read this article.  I sooooo know the feeling.

Man Meets Scales

I hope that your week is free from denial moments.

Wardrobe Designer

I was pleasantly surprised with McKenzies move this year.  She tried out for a part in the school production and won a fairly major roll.  We are just so proud of how far she has come.  No kidding, just 2 years ago, as a 7 year old,  she was so shy she could hardly stand in front of a class and deliver a speech.  I have seen this kind of fear permeatate into something debilitating in adults so we decided to do something proactive to help develop her self confidence and put her into speech and drama lessons.  I guess they have been worth it because she is now prepared to stand in font of a paying crowd to perform.  Naturally I am the excited mother and personal wardrobe designer.

Wardrobe designer is not something I profess to be good at, in fact I fully admitt I have very little imagination when it comes to the whole dressing up thing.  Thankfully my wonderful mum has lots of little ideas for a gypsy like McKenzie needs to dress as.

So armed with my sisters daughters dress up dress, my Granma's bag of beads, earings and things, one two dollar shop scarf, we are almost ready for the dress rehearsals.

Now I am off to get the flower for the hair and photo can be taken.  Of course my job as Wardrobe designer will then be complete.

Gumboots

Oh my gosh, what is happening to me.  Since I have moved my footware of choice has become gumboots.

I hope this is only a temporary phase.

The Final Push to Move

There is nothing like a little stress to knock a few kilogrammes off your weight and add a few sleepless nights to the list. Along with trying make sure everything for Hayden is under control and that things will work seemlessly. 

This is the first time we have moved house since Hayden became disabled.  I had not really sat down to think what moving him would mean, especially when it comes to his mail.  After much thought it dawned on me that itwe have decided that it is not worth the effort trying to move his mail again so I organised a Post Office Box.  It will mean that when we move again Haydens mail will be safe in the P O Box and I wont be missing any appointments, community service cards etc.

(source flickr)

So yeah to the PO Box and the easy moment I have created for the next and every other move we make.  No more to mail to move.....well that is once we have changed all of this lot of addresses.

Now with each box packed and labled so we can find things in a hurry one last look at our house, the 13 May we said goodbye to this part of our life and onto something new.

In hospital again

The first day of the school term, I had work and Haydens school rings me at morning tea time to say that he is not well, he is vomiting.  I listen hard to what they say, excuse myself profusely from my days work and go collect him from school.  Sure enough I needed to take Hayden to hospital and naturally he was rapidly dehydrating as I took him into the hospital. I know for sure IV fluid and electrolyte balance medication will be required.

It had been many years since Hayden had been this sick before winter even started and I was really taken unaware.  DH was away overseas for work and it took a lot of planning to organise life for my other children so I could be with Hayden.

Naturally my rusty hospital entertainment skills swung into action and I was able to test out a few more ideas.

Firstly to add to my bag of tricks I needed to put a balloon and top up the little toilet bag I have for Hayden to play with.  It is the sort that you get off when you are travelling internationally by plane.   All sorts of goodies come in handie.  The bag I have has a pair of socks, toothbrush and paste ( Hayden loves brushing his teeth), lip balm, comb etc.  All things to have a little fun with.

Luckily Kids First Hospital have a wonderful team of play specialists who were on hand to help me entertain Hayden for nearly 4 days.  I can tell you that in addition to what I provided I have seen the same Barney (yes Hayden is stuck in a time warp and loves this character) DVD for two days solid.  I could just about repeat the dialogue verbartum.  Hayden was stuck in bed for three days unable to get out because he was hooked up to an IV pump through his port a cath, which really frustrated him and as he was unable to be medicated for his servere ADHD and feeling grotty certainly did not help.

So here is what a hospital stay looks like for Hayden and me

Hayden and I have just arrived in hospital and are waiting for the special nurse to insert the port a cath needle so bloods can be taken and IV fluids inserted.

After quite sometime waiting I drag out the latex hospital glove, fill it with water and we play a catching game.

The next day he is not a happy person and is giving Hospital Teddy plenty of hugs in between the nausia.

Of course I am not looking my best in hospital.  The bed by the window is had and drafty.  I am woken everytime something needs to be done, such as bloods or take his vital statistics etc.  It is not a good look.

On the final bedridden day Hayden is sure looking a little happier.  Here is with the next best thing to do with a vomit bag.  Hayden loves it.



Moving House

Well it has been quite some time since I have updated the new to me things.  Life has really taken over and since I last blogged we have sold our house, moved house, Hayden spent 3 nights in hospital and I have been working hard.

This all started the week before Easter when our house, which had been for sale over 12 months finally was confirmed for sale with two and a half weeks before we moved out.  We were caught totally unaware and essentially homeless.  There was nothing on the market that we could buy or wanted to buy if it comes to that.  So frantically I packed our home of 4 1/2 years.  Each box carefully labled and padded as required.  Luckily I am not prone to keeping things that are no longer of use and the local supermarket had a plentiful supply of banana boxes with lids on them.  Of course with it being the end of the school holidays the children were on two weeks break and we had a family holiday planned.  Needless to say it felt like life was beginning to spiral out of control just a little.  This was also compounded by the fact that DH was busy working and not home for much of the critical packing time.

So there will be no more misty view out my front door and looking forward to something new all be it temporary.

Calm Reigns in our house now

As many of my readers know Hayden has many things going on in his life.  From the medical to the cognative and of course the behavioural.

Night time has been a big issue.  It is not because he can't sleep but because he has not be settling so he can go to sleep.  Instead he will call out from his room about 500 times (well it feels like that many times) especially for Dad, he takes his incontinence nappy off and does the unthinkable in his room more than once and then anything else that he can destroy will be done.  He was raising the stress levels in our house right over the top.

At Haydens latest Pediatricians appointment it was recommended that we try a little something to help his brain think about going to sleep.  As he has a severe case of ADHD, I am told that it is hard for the brain to slow down to go to sleep.  I have to say it did not take much to consider this option that might or might not work.

Luckily for us our new plan is working, now for the last week he has gone to bed happily, layed quietly in his bed til he drops off to sleep within 30minutes.  My husband and I now don't know what to do with ourselves.  Usually Hayden would require full blown attention for anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours depending.

Here he is, just taken at 6.30pm.  I am so happy we have now got peace back into our evenings and we can relax just a little.

I am linking this post to Listgirls New52 week 14

New 2 Me 13 Feijoas

It is the season for feijoas to be in plentiful supply here.  It grows on a tree that does not seem to need any tender loving care, just the perfect sort of tree for me as no matter how hard I try I am not kind on plants.

The feijoa tree produces a prolific volume of fruit.  I seems to fall to the ground as it is perfectly ripe.  We go out each day to gather the picking from the ground.  Perfectly soft to touch and delicous to eat.  The ripe fruit look this colour when cut and ripe.

This year I thought that I would try and do something productive with thsi fruit as it seems like such a waste to let so many good fruit rot.  Jam and relish seem to be something I could give a try.  Here are a few recipes I am considering...

Feijoa Chutney (source NZ Womans Weekly)

Feijoa  Jam (source NZ Womans Weekly)

Hmmm I cant wait to give them a try.

New 52 week 12 Shoes

With winter quickly approaching I had the need to go and source footware.  Mine had been well worn out from last year and as I am hard on my shoes there was not a chance of saving them and trying to make them last another season.

Shoes are something I love to buy.  I love them to be comfortable and I love them to help me feel taller.  Yes that was taller I said.

So last week while DH was away in China for work I took the plunge and went shopping.  A rare thing for me to do when it comes to myself.  I have to say while I love shopping online I really loooooove going to the shops and feeling the items I might purchase, dreaming a little about the if onlys and of course the trying of clothes shoes and other items on is just so much fun.

So to the two........yes two pairs of boots I bought....I had fun keeping the shop assistant busy while I tried on about 1/2 of their stock.  I was abruptly reminded that my feet do not fit thin fitted shoes.  In fact my toes don't even get anywhere near in the shoe.  Now I have a spring in my step and am well ready for the colder winter months that are almost here.

Oh I can smell that lovely new aroma of new leather shoes.  I cant wait to find the first moment to wear them.

I am linking this post to the Fabulous Adventures of Listgirl

New 52 Week 11 Food

Food is an ongoing issue for me.  It is an all or nothing effort when it comes to eating enough, too much or even not enough.  Not a good state of being really,  but enough of my food issues.

I have recently been working very hard to get fit and healthy.  I wrote about this here.  I have been eating well and exercising.  I know to be life long I need to add treats back into my plan so to benefit my sweet tooth I have discovered a new and not too costly treat.  A Mallowpuff.

A marshmellow filled treat.  I love them and they love me just for the right amount.  True luxury.  Now I am set for those sweet needing moments.

New 52 Week 10 We have an emergency plan

In our house we have had an emergency plan.  I think we might call it a Hayden emergency plan.The sort of plan when the children know when and why we need to call 111 for an ambulance and even how to respond to the operator.  They too know what that means with regard to panic levels and following instructions etc.  We all know this plan because we have had to practise it quite a few times.

Recent world wide events including the Earthquake in Christchurch New Zealand (I live in Auckland New Zealand) the horrific tsunami in Japan, have prompted me to make so more robust plans for a natural emergency.

So I have ordered this kit from St John New Zealand and will add to this a special kit for Hayden and top up with a few extra bits and bobs we have at home.  In fact I have no idea how we would cater for him as he required 2 litres of water a day and electricity to run everything.  Hmmmm I am yet to solve that issue.

I have printed out this form and am creating a plan with the children and DH when he gets home from working in Vancouver and am working through this planning sheet to help should we need it.

I am not paranoid to the extent that I can't do or go anywhere but I guess it just gives peace of mind.  Also Andre is learning about 111 and emergencies at school so it is good timing for our 7 year old.

I will post a photo when I have the two little packs all organised and packed.  As for the planning three days in advance.  That will take a little time to assemble but the intention is there.  Oh our barbeque bottle is full so we will be cooking.

So even though it is unlikely that Auckland will suffer from and earthquake you never know just what kind of emergency we might be ready for.

So keep an eye out for when all things are gathered and photos taken and I will post what I have done to get us ready for an emergency.

New 52 Week 9 Never to be done again.

So another week has passed and life has suddenly got really busy.  I needed to go running after work this week which just so not a me thing to do.  Why....because I often feel really tired at the end of the day and that makes it too easy to make an excuse not to hit the pavement.  So to my surprise I sprinted my little route at 6.30pm in the last of the evening summer sun.  Of course today when I went out after work today I was feeling rather sluggish and plodded rather than spritly.  Personally I am putting that down to the fact that it is friday and I worked 4 days out of the last 5 as well as the getting up in the middle of the night to tend to haydens medical needs.

So when Hayden discovered he could ride his two wheeler bike it became inevitable that that he would want to go riding the pavements.  Hmmm I am thinking Hayden riding while I run...not good.  But I gave it a try anyway.  Now I have experienced this I know that I am not fast enough to run while Hayden is riding.  He is certainly not capable of making rational decisions at 4pm thus making him really unsafe.  So all in all this is not a choice I will be making again.  So it is back to the buggy and me running while pushing 33kg. I do this every weekend that my DH is away.  I guess though I cant call it a run....it is a walk run thing that I do.

I am linking this post to Fabulous Adventrues of Listgirl

New 52 Week 9

This is were I put my hand up and say I am vein.  I look in the mirror only as I step outside the door on the way to work but as my sunglasses broke last week I became increasingly conscious of the laughing lines(ha ha you know what I mean) on my face and the fact that is summer here and I was spending all day squinting, I became paranoid at the thought I was not helping my aging process in any way even though I was using sun screen and a hat are necessary. 

So I was very pleasantly surprised when DH said off I go to my favourite sun glass shop and get some new ones. He knows I like good quality glasses and I usually spend just a few dollars to look after my eyes a face.  Then I need them to be multi functional... protection, to exercise in, not too fashionable and then a little fashionable at the same time.  It is such a difficult task.

Thank you DH I went shopping and now have this new pair of sunglasses that hopefully will do the job I paid for them to do.  Oh yes and help slow the aging process.

You can see the older but broken glasses on the left and the new model there on the right.

New 52 Week 8

This week I thought that I would try a different scrapbooking style.  Using doodles...plenty of them in fact.  to add to this there is no photo and only journalling to embellish it any further.  This took me ages to create. So without any further ado here it is.

Gosh I wish I could doodle like this kit allowed me to do on the computer.  Anyway I used doodlemania kit by Dinskip and the heart from Hugs and Kisses kit from WW 

New 52 week 7

I have been on this journey. 

Being a fit and healthy weight is really important for me. It shows me I value myself...my mind, my body and my soul (well I hope that is helped too). Without these things then the rest of my life struggles.


This year I managed to start the year at an idea weight for me. I was working really hard on my fitness through the couch to 5 km programme and even managed 3 christmas days, yes I know 2 too many, and 12 days camping to this day working on a maintenance plan.

I hope that I am setting a great example for my children about eating well not binging or the other extreme of not eating. Eating a balance of food including treats ocassionally. Showing my children that exercise is important. It makes me happier, it makes me more positive about life and ...oh....yes I feel less stressed.

So fingers crossed for the year that I can maintain where I am at. I can climb back up if I fall off the path I am on. That I acquire no injuries to prevent me exercising and I continue to love everything I have achieved.

credits can be found here at Nuts4Digi

3 weeks after I wrote this for my scrapbooking page I am still going strong.  Part of this challenge for me is too look after myself in everyway.  Today we were going to a family function, a 4 year old birthday.  I decided to hunt through my wardrobe to see what was in there.  Trust me I am on a mission to take care of my appearance.  To take pride in it.  I managed to find this cute little dress that now fits again, put on some jewellery and a little make up and off I went feeling pretty good.  When we got home this evening  I got my 7 year to take a photo.  Sadly it looks like I have been out all day at a childrens party and my hair well when you have that much hair it is difficult to stop it looking like a puff ball.  But the key for this week was that I made a big effort and that is something I have not done for such a long time.

Ok so the photo is not great but there I am.

This post is part of a challenge posed by Listgirl.  Her blog can be found here where you can read more.

New 52 Week 6

With all that has happened in the last few years a glass of wine has really come a thing of the past for me.  Not that I ever drank a lot of alcohol anyway but now, with the demands of Hayden and me on the healthy weight and health exercise lifestyle I have finally decided that I can have a drink or two every now and again.  I can still manage to get up in the middle of the night for the nappy change and medicine run for him, especially if I know that he is well.

So here's to last night and two small glasses of wine.  I reminder to me that I can do this, enjoy a glass or two as a treat and still manage to get up to Hayden and go for a run this morning.

Here's too to the reminder that life is all about balance and I should remember that always.

New 52 week 5

So here I am blogging for the third time today.  I am playing catch up incase you are wondering.

Week 5 n my New 52 project, a project about me is another self improvement thing.  I have always struggled with having finger nails that I would not be embarrassed about.  Yes you know what I mean, I bit them especially in times of stress or unhappiness.

This week I am pleased to say things are looking up in this department.  While I have a couple of broken nails this is the best sent of nails I have had since I decided acrylic was the answer for me.

So proudly (not looking at the short stumpy fingers and wrinkles) here are my fingers.

Now maybe I need to go and get them groomed properly.  I guess that could be a new thing for another week.



New 52 Weeks 2, 3 and 4

I have been on holiday and so am playing a little catch up with this challenge. 

Week 2

This I did just before we went camping.  Here I am for the first time in my life finishing a 1000 piece jig saw puzzle.  It is not something I had ever planned to do but well I got inspired and it too me way too much time over 3 days.



Week 3

This too was a surprise.  This year I have really taken on the challenge to show my children that it is not  only my Husband who does a whole range of things but I cant do them too.  So here I am just jumping as I swing off a Pohutukawa tree over hanging the beach.  I guess the rope was hanging about 20 m from the sand.  Sun a fun thing to do.  (Not a great photo though)

Just goes to show I can do these things too.

Week 4

Finally just before we came home I paddled a sea kayak about 200 m across an estuary to take this really bad photo of my daughter jumping into the water from a high branch in that tree. Now there is a photo of me paddling but I need to get it off my friends camera so I guess that photo will just have to be for another time.

Enough of the adventure stuff and now onto life back home.

New 52 Week 1

New to me this week was the fact that I happily posed with my children for a photo.  This is a first from what I can remember and even as I look back through the archives I dont see any like this at all.  Not only that this was a first for something else.  I actually decided to run, as much as possible, some of my hiking trail.  I just don't know what has got into me.

So here is the new me in front of the camera at the start of our hike, just an hour long around the Hunia Ranges.

If you want to read more about this then pop over to Fabulous Adventures of ListGirl